Toilet training is one of the biggest challenges for parents and toddlers alike! There’s so much potty training advice out there, but putting it into practice isn’t always easy. In this article, we’ll offer some information for parents based on advice from early years expert and PACEY president Penny Tassoni. We’ll explain how to start potty training, look at the best way to potty train for both weeing and bowel movements, and offer some simple, straightforward potty training tips.
When should you start potty training?
All children are different, and there is a huge variation in when children are ready to start potty training. It’s completely normal for children to come out of nappies at any age between 18 months and nearly 3.5 years. The main thing is that you find the right time for your child. This is one of the pivotal moments in your child’s life, so we must approach it with patience and empathy for this new skill they are learning.
What does potty training involve?
The word “training” is misleading, because potty training is not something you can teach if your child is not physically, emotionally or communicatively ready. So, it’s really important to watch your child carefully in order to get the timing right. If you can do this, most children will be comfortable to be out of nappies within a couple of weeks. However it is important to remember, each child feels their bodily sensations differently, do not be disheartened if it takes a couple of months. This can be very normal and nothing to be worried about.
If you start potty training too early, your child is likely to have lots of accidents and everyone will become frustrated. They may be put off using the potty. This can cause anxiety and stress for yourself and the child.
On the other hand, it’s not good to wait too long, or your child may become used to wearing soiled or wet nappies and find it difficult to make the change to wearing pants.
It is a difficult balance, below are some great tips to know when is the right time to try the change and how to put it into place.
Potty training tips: how to support your child’s move away from nappies
Many parents look for help in how to start potty training. The main thing is to make your child aware of what’s going on and remember you are on this journey together.
- Before you start potty training, watch your child carefully, looking for signs that they are doing a wee or a poo in their nappy. Are they able to tell you that they have made a bowel movement? If not, wait to start. Instead work on getting them to recognise their bowel movements.
- Talk to your child about what is happening. For example, if you know they are doing a wee you could say, “You are doing a wee”.Ask them before changing their nappy what they have done so they get used to telling you about their bodily functions.
- One important piece of potty training advice is to avoid any sense of shame about wetting or soiling. One way to do this is to talk about making your child “comfortable” as you clean them up, rather than “clean”.Try to stay away from passing comments such as “that was smelly” etc. They may then become embarrassed to tell you.
- There’s no point in starting potty training before a child can hold their urine for at least one and a half hours. They need to be able to hold it in for a sustained period of time then release it in a “flood”, rather than weeing a little bit at a time throughout the day.
- If your child is not yet able to communicate with you that they have made a bowel movement, wait until they are able to before starting potty training. The ability for them to communicate to you their physical needs is the key starting point to potty training.
- One good sign that your child is ready to start potty training is a dry nappy after their nap. This shows that the bladder can hold urine. Once your child can do this and they are able to communicate with you, this is a great time to start introducing potty training.
- Positivity is key! Showing your pride to your child for trying is a great tool to encourage children to keep on trying until they have learnt the skill. Hi-fives, smiles and well dones are great ways of encouraging further efforts. It is often very tempting to introduce things like sticker charts or rewards charts as an incentive to get the outcome you are hoping for. We would recommend steering away from these tools. They can affect children’s intrinsic motivation, children can eventually want you to offer more and better rewards as the original ones lose their appeal. This can deter children from trying to achieve something for their own self pride and achievement rather than a reward outcome.
How to start potty training – doing a wee
- Let your child be part of the process of change, if possible let them choose their new potty, pants and nappies. This gives them ownership and a sense of control over the changes ahead.
- Try to put your child in pants, show them the potty and explain what you are doing. Don’t make it a big deal.
- Sitting on the potty is a great first step, so them being happy to sit on the potty is a great foundation for the future steps needed for potty training. Even if they sit on it and nothing happens, make sure to be positive and give lots of well-dones for trying.
- Wait until you know they may be able to do a wee – an hour after they last urinated is a good time.
- Help your child to understand the signals their body gives them, when it’s time to do a wee. For example, you could say, “I can see you wriggling. I think that means your wee wee is ready to come out.”
- Don’t expect them to get it straight away. You’re likely to experience many accidents at first as your child gets used to the process. If you don’t make it to the potty on time, you could say something like, “Your wee-wee came out before you were ready.”
- It takes a little while to get used to potty training, so keep going for 2 days. After this, if you’re having more accidents than successes, don’t carry on. You can try again another time when they are more ready.
- Be prepared to act fast when your child tells you they need a wee. Children do not feel the signs of needing a wee until their bladder is already very full!
How to start potty training – doing a poo
When it comes to poo, the most important potty training advice is to ensure that your child does not become constipated. If they do, they may associate doing a poo with pain, which in turn makes it harder to relax and go to the potty.
- To help prevent your child from becoming constipated, make sure they have a diet rich in certain fruit and vegetables, with lots of water.
- Is there a pattern to when your child usually needs a bowel movement? Knowing this will help you to support them when they start potty training.
- Let your child lead you. They might want privacy to do a bowel movement, or they might want you there for support.
- If your child needs a bowel movement but they want their nappy on, don’t force it. It’s better to make sure they keep passing and don’t become constipated.
- It’s quite common for children to want a nappy when they need a bowel movement. If your child will only pass a bowel movement with a nappy, you could try to make the transition gradually by lining a potty with a nappy, wearing the nappy loosely.
Working together with nursery for potty training success
If you’re not sure how to start potty training, or you’d like to talk about the process, don’t hesitate to speak to your child’s key worker. It’s important for parents to work together with the nursery to ensure that your child is comfortable and knows what to do when they need a wee or a bowel movement. We can also show you how our nurseries are set up to handle potty training, with child sized toilets and access to potties.
More potty training tips from Penny Tassoni at PACEY
Get further information on how to start potty training, and tips for making it a smooth experience for both parent and child. Remember, be patient, it takes time for this new skill to be learnt.